Buy one, get gun free

In Bowling for Columbine, Michael Moore showed us how he opened a bank account and got a gun as a free gift. Now BBC reports that a car dealer in Missouri says sales have quadrupled since it started its freebie offer. Customers can choose between a gun or a $250 gas card. While Europe is relatively stoic that gas now costs $8/gallon, America, whose population is scattered thinly across suburbs connected by no public transport worth the name, is reeling from gas that costs an outrageous $4/gallon. So it's pretty obvious what to choose, right?

The gun, silly! The gas card is only good for $250 worth of gas. How will you fill your new car after that? But go with a gun to the gas station -- hey, free gas, whenever you want it!

Mr Muller said that every buyer so far "except one guy from Canada and one old guy" chose the gun, rather than the gas card. He recommends a Kel-Tec .380 pistol, which he describes as "a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket".

Dear Mr Muller, I can't think of a single reason why I'd need a handgun in my pocket, but anyway, proceed:

He added that the promotion was inspired by recent comments from one of the Democratic nominees for the presidential election, saying: "We did it because of Barack Obama.

"He said all those people in the Midwest, you've got to have compassion for them because they're clinging to their guns and their Bibles. I found that quite offensive. We all go to church on Sunday and we all carry guns."

Hmmm. Why not cash in on all the tactless or tasteless things presidential candidates have said, with totally ironic business plans for each? I'm starting a June assassination pool. Any suggestions for McCain gaffes?